


Death by a Thousand Cuts

by LittleMsStark3000



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Feels, POV Alternating, POV Natasha Romanov, POV Tony Stark, Past Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Post-Break Up, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMsStark3000/pseuds/LittleMsStark3000
Summary: Tony has been looking on his phone's screen for God-knows-how-long. He was just there, right outside Natasha's room and standing along the corridor of the hospital, alone. The reason why he stepped out was to make a call... to the person he never imagined he ever would: James Buchanan Barnes.Natasha's ex-boyfriend...Yeah, his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a story in my mind that begs to be written. This will be a short, 5-chapter series.
> 
> All characters in this story are from Marvel / MCU.

Tony has been looking on his phone's screen for God-knows-how-long. He was just there, right outside Natasha's room and standing along the corridor of the hospital, alone. The reason why he stepped out was to make a call... to the person he never imagined he ever would: James Buchanan Barnes. Natasha's ex-boyfriend...

Yeah, his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.

Last night, Tony was notified by the city hospital that Natasha was involved in an accident. She was in the backseat of a car going home from work when it was bumped off-track by another car whose driver was drunk. Natasha was immediately given medical attention and her employer was contacted, which helped trace him as her emergency contact person, being the only "family" she had in the US.

He had barely slept since the previous night and she was unconscious, until earlier when she woke up and started asking what happened. His girlfriend looked fine except for bruises on her right arm and head which hit her side of the car's window. She was also on neck brace due to whiplash. Good thing, she was wearing her seatbelt when the accident happened, else, she could have been worse.

But the unusual occurred to him when she spoke further.

"Where's Bucky?" Natasha asked.

His eyebrows furrowed. He even thought she misheard her... but it was clear.

"Why are you looking for him?"

She shrugged. "Why not? I had an accident. My boyfriend should be here by now."

He tensed. It has hardly registered in his mind when she asked again.

"Does he know what happened?"

Tony swallowed a lump in his throat and refused to answer. Instead, he dialled on the room's phone and called for her doctor. He needed an explanation on what was wrong with Natasha...

Why would she look for the man she has broken up with two years ago? And all the more why would she pertain to that man as her boyfriend?

Soon enough, Dr. Cho got in the room, did the vital signs check-up first and went on asking her questions afterwards. Tony stood a few feet away from her bed, observing.

"Can you recall what happened before you were brought here?"

She shook her head lightly, hindered by her neck injury. "No... But Tony said there was a car accident."

"That's right. And do you know what date it is today?"

"Today... I... I don't actually."

"I have a pen and a pad here. I need you to write your full name and address."

There was hesitation in her eyes, but she picked up the pen, stared on the pad, and started writing slowly. By the nod of the doctor towards Tony, he figured that Natasha got the information accordingly. It took her longer than it should though.

Until the doctor asked the next questions.

"Do you know him? His name and who he is?" she pointed to him.

"Yeah, that's Tony. My best friend."

Tony literally felt a pang in his chest. He could not move. He could not even speak to correct her.

"Aside from him, are you expecting to see anyone else here?"

"My family's away. They're in Russia. I live here alone with my dog, Luca. But my boyfriend... Bucky should be here any moment. Right, Tones?"

His jaw clenched but he managed to nod once.

The lady doctor stood up from sitting on the edge of Natasha's bed. "Okay. I think you should get some rest for now. I will be back later to check on you again." Then she turned to the nurse who assisted her. "Can you look after her for a while? I just need to talk to Mr. Stark here."

The next thing Tony knew, he was outside the room listening to Dr. Cho's explanation.

"We still need to observe her tonight until tomorrow and run a series of tests to confirm her condition. In the meantime, I need to know your thoughts about her responses which you heard."

He let out a tired sigh before he replied. "She's right. I am her best friend... and boyfriend for a year now. Bucky's her ex - they broke up two years ago. Luca was her Pomeranian dog, which died a month ago due to old age. It's true though that her family's in Moscow. She's living independently."

"It seems like Natasha is suffering from selective amnesia, Tony. She remembers things from the past, and thinks they still exist to date."

His fingers raked his hair backwards as he shut his eyes. "I-is that... Is that serious? Is that going to be permanent?" He questioned heavily. "What..."

"It can be a temporary condition - days, weeks - but in some cases, it can last longer."

It was the last straw before he let his back rest on the wall, as if his legs were already failing him soon.

"What should we do?"

The doctor's expression spelled understanding. "For now, we need to support her physical recovery. Her mental state follows. I suggest we do not rush her to recalling everything immediately and getting back on track. We need to be patient; else, she might not receive the present positively. It can lead to anxiety, or worse, depression."

Tony let out another exhausted sigh. Just the thought of Natasha not remembering who he really is to her and what they have broke his heart.

"Our mind has the ability to repress unwanted memories or deny reality when these stress us." Dr. Cho continued to explain. "There might be a reason why Natasha remembers her past, one to two years ago, but forgot her present. That, we might or might not figure out. But for now, let's give her time to rest."

He nodded forcefully.

"The man Natasha thought as her boyfriend, would you have a way to contact him?"

If he had a choice, he never wanted to. He did not dare share that anymore.

"I can find a way."

"Not to put our hopes up, but if she sees him, it might help her remember or feel the things that aren't the same anymore."

And so, here he was, reaching out to Bucky.


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha’s eyes were shut for almost an hour since the last nurse who gave her medicine dosage left. She could not sleep though. She has been trying to remember what happened to her, but despite the explanation from the doctor, there was nothing that she recalled. Tony has been gone for a few hours, too. When Dr. Cho stepped out with him, he did not return anymore… or if he did when she was asleep, she did not know.

The sound of the door opening prompted her to open her eyes and she blinked a couple of times to see clearly who was approaching.

"Bucky?" She recognized and tried to sit up.

The newcomer was attentive enough to help her put a pillow behind her and adjust the bed for her comfort.

"Hey. How are you?" 

She forced a smile. "I'm feeling okay now."

It was true; the painkillers probably were working already for her temporary relief. What Natasha did not understand though was the emptiness she still felt even after seeing her boyfriend that she asked for. When she woke up and did not find him around, it was her instinct to look for him. But now that she was face to face with the guy, it felt different from what she expected.

Wasn’t she supposed to feel more relieved? Or happy, at least? Or maybe she was just disappointed that it took almost two days before he saw her, considering that she almost died of car crash…

She subtly looked past him to check if her best friend was in there, too. Tony stood behind the closed door watching them.

"Good. Uh... Tony called me and told me about what happened." Bucky replied which caught her attention again.

"Yeah... But I don't remember it. I woke up and... This." She shrugged.

"Still, this is better than... something more serious."

Instead of acknowledging that, she looked over again to the other person in the room. “Tones, why're you there?” 

“Oh, sorry.” Tony held the knob. “I'll step out.”

“No, dummy. Come here.”

Her eyes were on him as he came closer and stood by the side of her bed, opposite Bucky.

“Did my doctor say anything about going home?” she inquired again from her best friend.

“She did. They still have a couple of tests to do, but you may probably go home the day after tomorrow.” Tony inserted his hands in his pockets as his eyes looked at her and Bucky alternately. “But I suggest you stay in my place in the meantime, so I can look after you. I mean... You're still not fully well,” he explained further. By how he acted, she read that he was asking permission from her boyfriend.

Bucky cleared his throat. “I think that's a good idea. I can't... I can't volunteer my place, you know, Steve's there. And I got work, too.”

She nodded, remembering that Bucky lived with his colleague from the NYPD and they had night shift at work.

“Don't worry. Bucky can visit you anytime.” Tony quickly reassured. He probably thought she would rather have Bucky take care of her. But she actually felt glad to know that she would stay with Tony.

“Thanks. I'm fine with it.” She smiled.

“Do you want anything? I can ask Jarvis to go get us something.” Tony inquired again and pertained to his driver-bodyguard.

Natasha chuckled as she breezed through her hospital room which could pass as hotel suite. She was sure it was way beyond what her health card covered – and somebody took charge in upgrading the services she was supposed to receive. “As if not everything is in here already, right? We'll be fine. I think it's you who needs rest.” She rebutted, noticing his eyebags and growing facial hairs.

Tony scoffed. “Way to shoo me out. Got it.” He was about to step away again, but she reached for him.

“Shut up, Antoshka. You look restless and bothered. I doubt if you have had any decent meal in the past 2 days.”

“Tasha –” he attempted to stop her.

“I'm recovering. You just wait until I can move on my own and I'm gonna mother you around again.” Her eyes narrowed a little, threatening her stubborn friend.

“You obviously can do that lying down.” He used his right hand to remove hers on his arm, and he ended up holding her hand, which he realized immediately so he apologetically let her go as he turned to Bucky. “Oh. Sorry. I better –”

Even Natasha almost forgot that he was there.

“No. Please. It's not as if I am not yet used to seeing this for years.” Bucky chuckled. “Nat's right though, you should grab food and sleep some more.” He pushed.

“Food, not coffee.” Natasha added straightforward.

Tony nodded. “I will. Thanks.” And he walked past them without looking back anymore.

Her eyes stared from afar until the door closed. Suddenly, it felt awkward to be alone again with Bucky. And she still could not understand why so. This man with her was supposed to be the one to make her feel safe and secured. But deep inside, it just did not seem right…

“Bucky...” she looked at his face and started trying to explain what she felt.

“Nat?”

Even his expression and his movements seemed awkward, like he also did not know what to do around her. He barely kissed or hugged her ever since he entered that room – and she did not have the urge to initiate anything, too. She expected him to be mad at the accident, to be worrying over her… From what she was seeing though, his reaction was not even half close to Tony’s over what happened.

Natasha shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Is something wrong? Are you in pain?” His hand extended to touch her shoulder lightly.

“No... Just... I feel a little strange about... things.”

And Bucky pulled his hand back to his side, like it was improper to do. He also looked away from her gaze.

“Maybe, it will be best if I get out of this room the soonest and go back home. I miss Luca, too.” She simply added, attempting to make sense out of the odd situation.

“Hey, don't think too much about other stuff. What's important is for you to get well the soonest.”

His words sounded like he just needed to say them.

“Are you staying?” She sighed and asked instead.

“Oh, uh... yeah. I can stay until Tony gets back.”

“Thank you.”

Why, did she really have to ask him that? Or thank him as if it was a favour? Weren’t they in a relationship for a couple of years now?

Bucky raised his phone and walked to the door. “I’ll just make a call.”

“Okay.” Natasha forced another smile.


End file.
